The Adolescent Mind in the Married Man's Body
Let me explain.
When I was growing up--even well into college--I was painfully shy. I had a few good friends, but never really fit into a group. I tried to mask my shyness and get the attention I craved by being silly and a smart ass. (I still do, that, come to think of it.) What that meant is that I never dated. My first serious relationship was with my first wife. Then we married.
Due to that, I was even more immature and naive about relationships than I am now. I think that if I had direct experience in breaking hearts and having my own heart broken in the relatively less serious world of teen relationships, I might have not run roughshod through the china shop of my ex-wife's and son's lives. That affair was in part a way for me to experiment in the world of relationships and love. I didn't think of it that way at the time, but I wonder if perhaps it isn't true.
The experiences I had in hurting others through my first marriage have caused me to be a better husband who is much more careful with his wife's heart. It is unfortunate that I learned those lessons in my 20s rather than in high school.