I'm a Sick, Sick Man (Where's the Bathroom?)
I have come to realize I am slightly or moderately obsessive. Or is it compulsive? Maybe both. I am not sure of the cause, but it is certainly not my fault.
Let me explain.
I have a plastic bowl filled with candy on my desk. It is assorted leftover candy from God-knows-where, things like generic M&Ms (regular and peanut), a ton of white-chocolate-covered raisins, milk chocolate pieces, gummy worms, and even a few jelly beans.
The fact that it is 1) left over, 2) bulk candy and not wrapped and 3) I don’t know where it came from, grosses me out a little. Nevertheless, I have been eating the stuff like my last meal was Thanksgiving. I can’t stop. Yesterday, I got a little sick to my stomach. Couldn’t stop. Today, I’m feeling a little ill. Can’t stop. The only reason there is still candy on my desk is that I can’t eat any faster.
Flash back to grad school. A friend and I bought a bag of candy corns to take to class. After about 10 minutes, he’d had enough. So had I, but I kept eating until the bag was empty. Of course, I was sick.
At night, before I go to bed, I go to every window in the house to make sure it is locked and the blinds are closed. I check every door. I turn out every light. Then again, in the morning before I leave for work, I do the same thing. No, I’m not safety conscious. In fact, I hope someone will come in and take some of the crap I own.
It takes me way too long to floss and brush my teeth. I’ve got to do it perfectly, to overdo it. Same thing with the bathroom. It takes me hours to clean (which is one reason I clean it so rarely).
Am I sick? Normal?
I hate this candy! But I’ve got to eat it.
Let me explain.
I have a plastic bowl filled with candy on my desk. It is assorted leftover candy from God-knows-where, things like generic M&Ms (regular and peanut), a ton of white-chocolate-covered raisins, milk chocolate pieces, gummy worms, and even a few jelly beans.
The fact that it is 1) left over, 2) bulk candy and not wrapped and 3) I don’t know where it came from, grosses me out a little. Nevertheless, I have been eating the stuff like my last meal was Thanksgiving. I can’t stop. Yesterday, I got a little sick to my stomach. Couldn’t stop. Today, I’m feeling a little ill. Can’t stop. The only reason there is still candy on my desk is that I can’t eat any faster.
Flash back to grad school. A friend and I bought a bag of candy corns to take to class. After about 10 minutes, he’d had enough. So had I, but I kept eating until the bag was empty. Of course, I was sick.
At night, before I go to bed, I go to every window in the house to make sure it is locked and the blinds are closed. I check every door. I turn out every light. Then again, in the morning before I leave for work, I do the same thing. No, I’m not safety conscious. In fact, I hope someone will come in and take some of the crap I own.
It takes me way too long to floss and brush my teeth. I’ve got to do it perfectly, to overdo it. Same thing with the bathroom. It takes me hours to clean (which is one reason I clean it so rarely).
Am I sick? Normal?
I hate this candy! But I’ve got to eat it.
posted by Lefty at 11:02 AM
3 Comments:
Do those gummy worms have bits of m & m shells on them? EWW, crunchy worms! Hope you can get through the bowl and stock up on more "fresh" candy. Enjoy!
mel
What happens if good candy that you like is in that bowl?
mel-I got smart and put the bowl out on my secretary's desk. And YES, there were bits of candy all over other candy. But I STILL couldn't stop.
LV-If it's candy I really like, then I cram it all in my mouth like a chipmunk. It makes answering the phone nearly impossible.
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