Thursday, May 31, 2007

Fun with Kids; Fun with Food

I love my kids!

I love the way they leave food out on the counter, like milk, butter, raw liver, jars of pig’s blood, so that it will turn rancid and attract hordes of insects, many of which have never before been described by science.

I love the way they leave plates of half-eaten food, grease, ketchup and other former food items in their bedrooms. I am confident that one day a cure for cancer will be found in the mold and fungus that grows beneath their beds. Also, I love the way when they leave a half-drunk glass of milk on their nightstand until it turns into a solid. It’s sort of like delicious flan, but with a kick!

I also love the way they smear food--peanut butter, jelly, butter, syrup--onto the outside of every food container in the house. What a wonderful tactile experience to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and to come away so covered in goo that it feels as if I have velcro hands. And there was that one time when the substance on the outside of the jelly jar was a strange orange-brown--definitely not jelly. It was so gross I could barely stand to lick it off my fingers.

Did I mention that I love they way they leave their spills out for someone else to step in, slip on and then clean up? There was that one time that I stubbed my toe on a rock hard three-day-old pile of macaroni and cheese dropped beneath the counter.

If I had known what great fun kids were, I would have had none!

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Blogger Tink said...

>>It’s sort of like delicious flan, but with a kick!<<

Bleck. I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

2:24 PM  
Blogger Lefty said...

Come on now, tink, it can't be any worse than two kids eating a gingerbread house that's been sitting in the hot sun, getting soft from the morning dew. Ick.

And I've always loved that phrase "I threw up in my mouth a little." Mmmm.

2:42 PM  
Blogger Bre said...

Boy do you make me want to procreate!

5:25 PM  
Blogger thethinker said...

I didn't know that's the way mothers feel about the half-eaten plates of food being left around everywhere. I guess I should go apologize to my mom about that (and then go remove those plates from my bedside table).

8:35 PM  
Anonymous xboxgirl said...

''It was so gross I could barely stand to lick it off my fingers.'' Ah ha haaa ha he.

Gezz, those two kids make slightly more of a mess then me and my 9 sibling when we were kids.

9:46 PM  
Blogger g-man said...

It's a good thing you love them. Some people might be tempted to throw in a bit of sarcasm about how their kids live, but you chose the high road and spoke only of love, it was beautiful man. {sniff}

I keep telling my wife that the reason our kids are so cute is so that we wont kill them.

8:37 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

Hey! Don't knock the gingerbread house. It's magic dude. MAGIC!

9:03 AM  
Blogger Lefty said...

bre--You know, a LOT of women have told me that over the years.

thinker--I don't know about mothers, but this father sure feels that way!

xbox--NINE! How did you survive?

g-man--mine aren't cute anymore, so let the killing commence!

tink--when I get that Lefty Copperbottom role, I'll show you magic!

12:32 PM  
Anonymous xboxgirl said...

I told you all 10 of us were ALMOST as messy as your two kids, that is the reason I survived.

9:09 PM  

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