Monday, June 04, 2007

Despicable and Ancient

I am more putrid than maggot droppings.

I am lower than the feces that come from this creature.

Yes, that’s right. I forgot my mother’s birthday.

She took the belated phone call well, though. After all, she only gave birth to me and loved me even when I behaved like the aforementioned maggot poop.

Also, I am apparently very old, even ancient.

This looks just like me, only my teeth aren't in such good shape.

My 12-year-old son and I were watching a television show about the 30th anniversary of Star Wars. When the hosts mentioned that it was Star Wars’ 30th “birthday,” my son turned to me and said, horror in his voice, “You’re older than Star Wars!”

A long time ago, in my galaxy, not so far away...

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10 Comments:

Blogger Bre said...

Oooooh. The gift better be really good!

5:07 PM  
Anonymous xboxgirl said...

If you had said you looked like the little maggot fella (not that old guy or maggot poo), I'd of said you looked rather cute (I bred a lot of fruit flys before and think maggots are cute).

5:55 PM  
Blogger Jennifer McK said...

*winces for you* I hear you. My son was asking me if I was around when dinosaurs were on earth.
I deducted points for originality on that one. If you're going to call me old, at least be original.
Sorry you missed your mom's birthday.

7:12 PM  
Anonymous g-dog said...

Well, when you get older than Star Wars, you have to expect a little memory loss.

Wow, your mom must be older than Star Trek (the original series)!

How will you ever make it up to mom?

7:26 PM  
Anonymous xboxgirl said...

That reminds me that when I was 3 my dad asked me how old I was I answered 3, but when he asked me how old he was I said "uh, as old as a dinosaur''.

I knew that was not right but that was all I could think of at the time (and he didn't care, he just thought it was real funny).

12:46 AM  
Blogger Lefty said...

bre--gift? Wasn't the phone call more than enough?

xbox--you have an odd idea of cute

jen mck--so WERE you around when the dinosaurs were here?

g-dog--I've got something special planned for mom; I picked some flowers and put them in the mail yesterday. It worked well when I was 5, so I think I got myself off the hook.

8:41 AM  
Blogger SWF41 said...

OMG....I think *I'M* older than Star Trek.

When did it come out? Please tell me it was before 1965. Please tell me it was before 1965.

9:02 AM  
Blogger Lefty said...

O Ancient One (swf)--It appears that the first Star Trek episode appeared in 1966. (See here.)

But don't fret, you might be older than The Twilight Zone.

9:58 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

They had TVs when you were born?!

Just thought I'd add to the injury. ;)

10:17 AM  
Blogger Lefty said...

You're all heart (and wings) Tink.

10:26 AM  

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