Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Home Again, Home Again

My wife and daughters are safely back at home, which is, of course, a mixed blessing. After two weeks of drinking beer, eating meals on the couch in front of the television, wearing the same pair of underwear, and singing “Magical Mystery Tour” at the top of my lungs (“we’re waiting to take you a-WAAAAAAY!”) at all hours of the day and night, I now must consider the sensibilities of others before I act. Damn sensibilities of others!

I did, however, learn a few important lessons. First, never watch Cast Away the night before your loved ones are due to get on an airplane to fly home. Second, a single bottle of beer provides a complete and nutritious meal for lunch. Third, too much time alone is not good for me.

Normally, my brain is distracted by the comforting sounds of domestic bliss, such as the screeching “you’ve been on/in the phone/computer/bathroom all day,” the soulful tunes of 50 Cent (“I'll take you to the candy shop, I'll let you lick the lollipop”), or the blaring, ear-shattering din that comes from the family room where one child is trying to watch television, talk on the phone, and listen to music on the computer all at once. When I was the sole occupant of the house, though, I had no such distractions.

Instead, I did something dangerous. I thought. Yes, that’s right. I rummaged through my brain, and what I found in there was not pretty. I discovered quite a bit of guilt--a ruined marriage, breaking up my son’s carefree life with two parents, my own failures at work, my own failures as a husband to my current wife. That guilt led to some moping and sulking and depression. Which meant, of course, that despite my freedom, I had a rather miserable time of it.

You’d think that I could get past some of my feelings, that I could learn to appreciate the simple joy of an empty house and no responsibility. Next time, I vow to do a better job of taking advantage of such a gift. Now, if only my mother-in-law could have another stroke so I can test it out.

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10 Comments:

Blogger Tink said...

It sounds like you didn't have ENOUGH beer. ;)

1:23 PM  
Blogger Sizzle said...

woah, woah, woah- there was thinking going on?

this is madness!

honestly though, i'm glad you had some time to yourself. a little self-reflection is good for the soul. and i bet your family missed you.

2:20 PM  
Blogger Bre said...

My goodness, that's an awful lot of thinking being done!

I think that you can never really get past anything like that until you examine it from all the angles - so perhaps the thinking is all for the best!

2:58 PM  
Blogger Lefty said...

tink--you are absolutely correct. I won't make THAT mistake again.

siz and bre--no, thinking is never a good idea.

3:49 PM  
Anonymous g-dog said...

Man, if you think that THINKING sucks, try FEELING (grossly overrated and depressing).

9:00 PM  
Blogger Love Monkey said...

ah, yes. One of the hazards of alone-time.

I am in complete agreement with Tink - you obviously weren't drunk enough.

12:47 AM  
Blogger Eileen Dover said...

I'm suprised you were thinking.

I would have been sleeping. And eating popcorn.

6:04 AM  
Blogger little miss mel said...

ooooooo, you ARE bad.

sometimes "going there" is not the right place to go.

Stay away from the light Carolann!

1:37 PM  
Blogger Lefty said...

g--that's why I try to numb both the thinking and the feeling.

monkey--well, you certainly didn't help out by sending along any good beer.

dover--surprised I was thinking? You don't think I'm capable?

I did sleep a lot and ate a lot of junk food, but no popcorn.

mel--I jest, of course. I like my mother-in-law (really!).

I didn't get the Carolann reference.

1:43 PM  
Anonymous g-dog said...

Carolann was the little girl in Poltergeist - "They're here!" - the ghosties tried to draw her in with them, mom (JoBeth Williams) had to coax/cajole her back to the world of living (stay away from the light Carolann)

1:21 PM  

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