At Least It Isn't a Mullet
So I got my hair cut yesterday.
When I go to the sterile chain hair salon where all the ladies look like they are on Death Row, I get my hair cut so short it looks as if the Marines are about ready to take me in. Then I can put off getting my hair cut for an ungodly amount of time until I look like the lost member of the Grateful Dead. I do this for two reasons: I am cheap, and I am lazy.
My wife always warns me ahead of time, “Don’t let them cut it too short.” I say “yes, dear” and then go out and tell Prison Lady to chop it all off.
I arrived home and asked my wife how it looked. “It’s long in the front and short in the back.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
I essentially ignored this comment because 1) I don’t really care what my hair looks like and 2) my wife is always exaggerating about things like that. But this morning, after my shower, I was combing my hair, and guess what? My hair is Alice Cooper in the front and Drill Sergeant in the back. I look like one of those half man, half woman carnival freaks, except I’m split front-to-back.
Is this my worst haircut ever? Probably not, but it’s close. (I quite literally had the bowl cut from Mom several times when I was a kid.) There was one time when the lady cut one of my sideburns short and not the other. That wasn’t good. I had to cut the long sideburn myself at home, had to keep evening it out until I had only a Mohawk left.
Have you ever had any bad haircuts?
When I go to the sterile chain hair salon where all the ladies look like they are on Death Row, I get my hair cut so short it looks as if the Marines are about ready to take me in. Then I can put off getting my hair cut for an ungodly amount of time until I look like the lost member of the Grateful Dead. I do this for two reasons: I am cheap, and I am lazy.
My wife always warns me ahead of time, “Don’t let them cut it too short.” I say “yes, dear” and then go out and tell Prison Lady to chop it all off.
I arrived home and asked my wife how it looked. “It’s long in the front and short in the back.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
I essentially ignored this comment because 1) I don’t really care what my hair looks like and 2) my wife is always exaggerating about things like that. But this morning, after my shower, I was combing my hair, and guess what? My hair is Alice Cooper in the front and Drill Sergeant in the back. I look like one of those half man, half woman carnival freaks, except I’m split front-to-back.
Is this my worst haircut ever? Probably not, but it’s close. (I quite literally had the bowl cut from Mom several times when I was a kid.) There was one time when the lady cut one of my sideburns short and not the other. That wasn’t good. I had to cut the long sideburn myself at home, had to keep evening it out until I had only a Mohawk left.
Have you ever had any bad haircuts?
posted by Lefty at 11:25 AM
10 Comments:
5th grade. I had shoulder length hair and no bangs. I said I wanted it as short as it could go in the same style and add bangs. What I got was a short layered look all over. All my blond was cut off too. I truly think Brian broke up with me because of it. I was mortified and looked like a boy.
Ages 4 - 13 was a continuous cycle of bad haircuts.
I'm trying to envision Tapatio man with the reverse mullet.
Any haircut where I had short bangs.
Bad.
I love the long on top, short on back look, though.
mel--just goes to show how shallow that Brian was. Good thing you didn't marry him! (You didn't, did you?)
lv--yeah, Tapatio man looks really cool with that cut. I'm considering adding the gigantic sombrero.
dover--my head has been tilting forward all day from the extra weight.
it doesn't sound that bad but i would need photographic evidence to really decide.
i've had plenty of bad cuts but the one that stands out the most is when i had dyed my hair red (orange, really) and then got talked into getting a perm. my almost-shoulder length hair went up into a bob and i looked like an effen poodle. i asked for big loose curls and came out looking like carrot top.
and i had to go to my father's funeral looking like that!
lesson learned: never do anything to your hair in time of crisis.
The same person has cut my hair since I was born... 80% of the time it's great.
20% of the time he doesn't listen to a word that I say and I hate it!
I vote you pull a Brit-Brit and shave it all off!
I live in the land of mulletts! On both men and women. And not even butch women.
It's so sad.
I remember some really bad haircuts. I don't look good in hats, so I was stuck with 'em, too.
Sucks.
yeah, there were all bad, but the worse hair disaster was the time a I had a violet head. That thing glowed, I tell ya. I resisted going out until the sun went down.
I cut my own hair(I've only twice,in my life,so far, had my hair cut in a hair salon,at age 7 and 8) ,so if it is bad I only have my self to blame.
Two incidents spring to mind.
When I was six, I played 'hairdresser' with the neighbour kid. I snipped the air around her head. She hacked off most of my hair.
Last year, I was backpacking in Morocco. My waist-length hair was driving me nuts, because the hostels I was staying in didn't typically have hot running water, and I wouldn't stay in the freezing showers long enough to bother with conditioner.
I handed a pair of scissors to a teenager in my dorm and told her to have fun. It wound up being shorter than shoulder length, with crooked bangs, and out by 4 inches from right to left. I believe the professional term is 'asymmetrical'. I was stuck with it until I got back to Canada, 5 months later...
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