Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Just Give Potter a Chance

I have made many enemies lately by suggesting that Saint Rowling and the Harry Potty series may not be the best things since beer hats.

Not this kind of beer hat. (Note: This is not Lefty.)

Nor this type of beer hat. (Note: Not Mrs. Lefty.)

That's the ticket. (Note: Again, not Lefty. Though in reflection, I’m not sure why I didn’t get more action in college. That beer hat is smokin’ hot!)

Anyway, back to the Pottyphiles. Some of you folks get damn uppity at the mere mention that J.K. might not be able to raise the dead, or that Ron and Hermione were a mistake from the beginning because she’s such a Type A and he’s so passive, or that the books of the series will have a more powerful influence on human history than the Torah, the New Testament and the Koran put together.

I finally decided there must be one of two reasons Harry and his adventures inspire such passion. Either Harry Potty fans are totally out of their minds, or else there is actually something to this phenomenon.

Mrs. Lefty is a part of the Great Muggle Awakening, and I decided to watch her more closely. Since she arrived home at about 1:00am on Saturday morning with two copies of the book, she has been reading every chance she gets. Normally, we watch baseball games together on television, but instead she curled up at the end of the couch with the book. Without warning, she exclaimed, “WHOA!” Apparently, about 80% of the way through the book, something interesting happened. Harry probably revealed he’s actually Snape’s lover or something like that.

And then later, we’re having sex, and Mrs. Lefty is still reading. (Don’t get me wrong, she normally reads while we’re having sex, but it’s usually just a magazine.) This woman won’t quit. She has been working a lot, so she reads during breaks. She’s probably even been reading while she was driving.

As she was finishing the last pages, I decided the peer pressure was too much. I had better read at least one Harry Potty book, or just like those years from Kindergarten through High School, I’ll be the uncool kid again. So here’s my vow: I will read the Potty books. At some point before summer is out, I’ll pick up the first book (Harry Potty and the Grocery List, I believe) and read it, beginning to end. Then, if my brain is not fried by the inanity of it all, I’ll read the next one.

But I also promise this: I’ll continue to make fun of Harry every chance I get!

P.S. If you haven't yet seen "Harry Potter and the Unnecessary Knob," check it out.

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Blogger Sizzle said...

I haven't read any of the Harry Potter books nor have I seen any of the movies. I am a freak apparently! (Though of course you'd be in the same club as me.)

Why must you crack!? Be strong! Stay with us Lefty!

3:05 PM  
Blogger Bre said...

Come to the Harry Potter side - we have fun British slang and magic spells

5:07 PM  
Anonymous g-dog said...

So, what I am hearing is, that you are finally going to be "Potty-trained"? Reserving the right to keep taking pot-shots.

7:17 PM  
Anonymous xboxgirl said...

"I’ll pick up the first book (Harry Potty and the Grocery List, I believe) and read it, beginning to end. Then, if my brain is not fried by the inanity of it all, I’ll read the next one." That sounds like a decent plan.

1:45 AM  
Blogger SWF42 said...

You can't just pick up the first book (and you really should start at the first book). The first book, even though it starts with a double-murder and ends with an Exorcist-type possession, has a kid's book feel to it. In fact, so does the second book. It's the third that really kicks things into high gear - and they only get better.

The good news is that you can read the first two books in about a day and a half.

When you're hooked on Potterverse like the rest of us, I'll be the one in the corner, laughing. :-)

6:08 AM  
Blogger Jennifer McK said...

Not me. I've read a couple and they were good, but I'm not running out to buy the new one.
*shrugs* I guess I'm just not bowled over.
Call me a rebel.

6:38 AM  
Blogger g-man said...

I have seen the movies (taking my lovely wife this evening for the latest one in fact). According to my 16 year old cousin the books make the movies suck since there is much more detail and such in the books. I find them entertaining, not to the point where I will wear a wizard hat and bring a stick to the theater, but they are fun to watch. Maybe one day I will read the books.

11:28 AM  
Blogger Lefty said...

siz and bre--sounds like you two are the angels battling on my shoulder; one for good and one for evil. Which is which?

g-dog--very punny.

xbox--I love it when a plan comes together.

swf--don't count your chickens yet.

jen mck--yes, I'm waiting until the books come out on microfiche.

g-man--I guess I have committed myself now.

3:18 PM  
Blogger little miss mel said...

I have seen 2 1/2 of the HP movies. The third couldn't keep my attention and I fell asleep. Oh well.

Not sure what the big craze is all about, but I'm sure I'll here what happened in the "ending" before too long.


5:27 PM  
Blogger Jennifer McK said...

LOL Microfiche!!!!!! Maybe there's just not enough romance in it for me. Oh, I'm kidding! Don't roll your eyes like that, Lefty.
I think the Harry Potter thing just stumps me. I don't get the intense popularity.
But then, I didn't understand the whole "Titanic" thing either.

8:03 AM  
Anonymous brandy said...

I'm with Bre here- join the Potter side. I mean, there's something called Butterbeer and tons of wand jokes. You know you want to.

12:57 PM  
Blogger Lefty said...

mel and jen mck--it's good to know I'm not the only one underwhelmed with Harry.

brandy--get behind me Satan!

1:12 PM  
Anonymous ingenue said...

I've never read any of the Harry Potter books. Maybe some day . . . but I doubt it.

8:24 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

You're going to read one of the Potter books? No way. I don't believe it. Did you hit your head over the weekend? Is someone paying you a large amount of money on a dare?

3:58 PM  
Blogger Lefty said...

ingen--I salute you!

tink--yes, as a matter of fact, someone is paying me a large sum. Don't you remember you promised me $12K for each Potter book I read?

3:23 PM  

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